MY BLOG ENTRIES

Sunday, December 26, 2010

Lost

I saw him pass by
As every eyes turned his way
Everybody heaved a sigh
And we all watched him walk away
I never thought I'd feel it
I thought it's just a game
A little time was all it took
And then I was never the same
Although I know I'm a coward
When it comes to love's games
I gathered all my courage
Just to make him feel the same
He did everything right
He made everything good
I felt what I thought I won't again
Coz he treated me like he never should
But never did I know
I fueled his friends' laughter
I was only a joke
A jest that never mattered
He never said goodbye
Never even saw me cry
I searched for answers...  I asked why
For when he left, something inside me died
I wish he would insult me...  physically hurt me
Anything to stop this longing
I need to hear he doesn't love me...  abhors me.
To help me stop pretending
But as I look at him now
I know it is what it seemed
He never cared for me...  never would
And he'll forever be a dream
So I tell my friends I'm okay
And fought to save my pride
Pasted on my smile
And made a mask from which I hide
And fervently, I pray to God
To let me let him go
Tried to summon my darkest feelings
But I could never hate him, I know
And as time passed, I found myself again
But his memory I've never forgotten
And despite my pain, I know I'd still choose
To be lost with him again.

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